Worse reflux and tired Momma

I got up this morning at 6 am to get to the hospital by 7 am to meet with Adam, Jac's neonatologist whom Joseph and I had met with last week (that time we spent the night at the hospital which was a mistake). This unfortunately was also a mistake. I was so tired from only having slept for 5 hours with a 1 hour period of awake time in the middle to pump that I was not in great shape.

I had hoped to meet with the neonatologist and then pump and then nap until 9 am. Jac of course had different plans. They weaned him from high flow nasal cannulae at .4 lpm to low flow at 40 ml per minute - a really big change and he was showing it when I got there. His respiratory rate was 120 - really high - and as I was finishing with the neonatologist he started crying - and breathing really fast - clearly uncomfortable.

I asked to do Kangaroo with him and ended up spending the next 3 hours holding him - unable to sleep or really rest as the chair in our room is very uncomfortable. I also ended up getting way too hot. SO basically by the end I was miserable. We put Jac back into his isolette and he seemed to calm down and be fine.

I then pumped for about 5 minutes which was all I do and then collapsed asleep on the bed and slept for about 15 minutes. And then Jac started crying again. I got up and held him for an hour for his next feed - by which point I was about to lose it. During the entire time I held him every time his food was going he would wake up with reflux every couple of minutes at the beginning of the feed and every minute or so toward the end. The food runs over an hour so this is exhausting for both of us. During the second feeding I tried to bottle feed him - none too successfully - he only got 4 ml.

Near the end of the second gavage feeding I called Alexis and Joseph and asked them to come rescue me. I never really recovered for the rest of the day.

Jac is now sleeping. He gained 16 grams today - for a total of 1178 grams!

The NNP is going to add Prevacid for his reflux - he is currently getting Zantac. She will add it once a day - and it will take about 3 days to kick in. After it does she will discontinue the Zantac. The Prevacid should be more effective at keeping the acid level of his stomach down. These medications don't get rid of the reflux - this will not happen until he gets much older - but they make it more tolerable by reducing the burning feeling he gets when he refluxes.

It is very hard to watch him have the reflux. He wakes up and cries a little, swallows a lot and makes some other funny little noises. He is clearly very uncomfortable and it makes me a bit powerless as there is little I cam do to help him other than hold him and comfort him and help get him into the most comfortable position in the isolette.

Augh - this has been a tough day. I am hoping that some sleep will help make things more tolerable for both of us.

Thanks Alexis and Joseph for rescuing me!