One plus one does not equal two

Oh my gosh. We had it easy. Two is hard. Harder than I thought it would be.

Nic started out as such an easy baby and man has he changed. He is up for three hours or so every night. He crys all during this time unless he is constantly rocked and bounced. Constantly. The car doesn't work. He will stop crying while he is in the car but as soon as you get him out of the car (still in the car seat) he is awake and starts crying.

So tiring. Major sleep deprivation. I tried to take care of Nic by myself for a while so Joseph could sleep but I have given that up as a pipe dream. Last night I was up with him for two hours before I got Joseph up. And then he was up with him for another hour and a half. Augh!

It is a very special time for me just to take a shower.

I am getting much better at taking care of both of them by myself though. On Monday I was terrified. Ama left on Sunday and I was going to left alone with both boys for an extended period of time for the first time.

Nap time. Hard, hard. I am used to putting Jac down for his nap and helping him fall asleep, alone. And now I am doing it while holding or feeding Nic. Since Nic is a frequent crier I often have to help Jac go to sleep while rocking and bouncing Nic to keep him from cying. Hard, hard. But I am getting better at it.

I was completely neurotic when this week began and I am much less so now. Joseph actually came home to a wife that was not crazed the last two days.

I am getting some help. Our good friend Leslie has been coming over a bit with her daughter and that has been nice. I am not getting a lot of social interation right now so it is nice to have it coming to me.

I have also asked Grace and Adri to come over and help, so I had about 14 hours of help this week. I would like to be able to do this by myself but realistically I am going to go crazy with a difficult newborn and a very young Jac. So I have accepted that I need some help, for now.