"What are you doing?"

Tonight I went out to a movie, "Sherlock Holmes," which was good by the way! Before when I have left to go out without the boys, and left them with Daddy, I have slipped out without saying goodbye. The cowards way out. I didn't want to upset the boys by saying goodbye to them. Tonight I decided that I need to face going out without them to have "Mommy Time" head on.

Two minutes before I left I told them that I was going. Jac understood and immediately climbed into my arms and asked to carried so that he could come with me. He was panicked that I was going to go without him. It felt awful. I told him that Mommy was going to go watch a movie and have some "Mommy Time" so I could come back a happier Mommy. For some reason this did not persuade him that my going was a good thing ;)

I told him that he could watch a movie while I was gone and turned on "Bolt" from Netflix on the TiVo. He has never seen a movie like this and I thought it might engage him after I left. As I told him again that I was going and that I would be back he clung to me, wrapped his arms around my neck, and his legs around my waist and cried, "What are you doing?" I asked him to stay with Daddy and watch his movie and took him off me and handed him to Daddy and grabbed my stuff and rushed out the door and out of earshot. It felt so awful but I felt that once I told him I was going I needed to do it.

"What are you doing?" rang through my head throughout the entire movie. Augh! When I got home all three of my boys were in bed, but not asleep. Jac was very happy to see me. He didn't seem upset at that point but Daddy told me he cried hard for 25 minutes after I left and periodically the entire time I was gone.

I don't know how long it is going to take me to build up the wherewithal to go out again!